flogger

I think I'm in the market for a good flogger. We need someone to come here and beat us senseless until we figure out how to clean up after ourselves. I mean its really out of control. 98% of the time, if someone "popped by" I would be mortified by the state of my house. Not just kid clutter, well, ok, there is kid clutter. Is there such a thing as kid filth? There's always a fine patina of crumbs, and dried play doh and cat hair and tiny shreds of paper. I guess I can understand that. But, I can rarely see the floor in our bedroom. Everything is always on the counter and not in cupboards in our kitchen. The sink usually full with who knows what dishes. Some from today, some from yesterday I just didn't have the energy to finish, a couple days of rinsed recycling on the drying rack.
My desk is just a cacophany of misplaced crap, pens that may or may not write, cds, cassette tapes I don't even listen to, jewelry wire, my engagement ring, a paper lantern......I don't get it.
So really, If someone could just come over and beat us regularly , maybe we could get the hang of it. If I go to leave the dinner dishes in the sink over night-just a few good slaps might remind me.
I really do apologize if some of you had horrible parents that disciplined you that way for real...this is just my bizarre fantasy life and I didn't mean to open old wounds.
Now, my mother might argue that was how it was in her Cinderella life. She was her parents scullery maid and vowed as an adult never to lift a finger to clean unnecessarily.
( while typing I realize Soph has dusted the entire floor of the house in molecules of shredded soy cheese)

And by the way, I can tell you that even a REALLY impassioned motivational conversation doesn't get the kitchen floor to clean itself. I just thought I would save you some trouble.