Wednesday, January 28, 2004


I am deliriouly happy the sun is shining again. Its still cold and icy and snowy but there is sunshine. Delectable, radiant sunshine. I wish I could throw the windows open and let in some fresh air. I feel like I've been livivng in a cave the past few months.

I am so much more motivated when the sun is shining. When the sun doesn't come out its like I am in low key hibernation mode. I have been successfully keeping the winter blues at bay by spending time in my electric yellow didning room/office and going outdoors at least for a few moments a day.

I am simultaneously delighted and overwhelmed that I have projects on my plate. Some of them are mundane and ordinary things I do around the house....paint and spackle, laundry done completely (put away as well as washed) cooking. But I also have a business venture project with my son. Well, its only an idea at this point but he's been committed to it. Well, during the days off school his commitment lagged, but i won't hold that against him. AND we have a officially launched Intrigue Magazine! I am really excited about this. Its actually a project I've fantasized about for quite some time.

I know the tribulations of my organization crusade are rather dull but it is consuming a signifcant part of my energy-physical and intellectual. I must be making a modicum of progress because it didn't take me a month to clean for Eric's bday party the other night. It was reasonably presentable in an hour.

I've even made some headway thru the many stacks and folders of misc. papers I've saved. I emptied one basket and created some more elaborately piled piles. I am an information packrat. I am always afraid if I throw that 6 year old artist/vendor business card away I will need him for a festival I'll be invited to plan. Now, I haven' planned a festival in at least three years. So you think I'm safe? I don't think so. As soon as I throw the card away the universe will go into overtime producing a reason why I will be planning a festival.

I guess the real question lies in wether or not I want to plan a festival? Problem is, I can't decide.

And so goes the merry go round of my information piles.

And books. don't eve nwaste your breath asking me to get rid of books. Even badly written or useless books. I just can't do it. I can give the maway. But I can not throw one away. I've tried recycling one but I still felt guilty. Books are sacred or something to me.

Speaking of sacred, I 've decided I need a little more ritual and beauty in my life. I haven't yet decided what that will involve. I feel like maybe once this organization maelstrom is finished I can start contemplating some routines...maybe consistent yoga or write everyday or meditate. I want to get back to my walking. Running up and down stairs a dozen times although cardiovascularly healthy is not conducive to meandering thought. Walking is superb for that.

I also joined the climbing gym. I 've climbed once so far and was dismally disappointed in my performance. I know its been over (gasp) 20 years since the last time Irocked climbed, but geez, I thoguht I was in a little better shape. The up side of this is I know that if I stick with climbing I WLL GET BUFF. It works everything. I like thefact that you feel like you've accomplished sometihng with your body when you get to the top of the wall. And you are only competing with yourself.

Oh yeah, I baked two loaves of bread last night. It was a box mix sort of...I still had to knead it and mix the yeast and wait for everything to rise. I refuse to pay 4$ for a loaf of bread that doesn't have hydrgenated oils or high fructose corn syrup in it. I will just bake it myself. ( I don't know how practical this declaration is but I am declaring it anyway).

So, I've got a lot on my to do list but thats when I'm happiest. At least thats what I've come to believe.

No comments: