Saturday, September 04, 2010

end of summer 2010

I ALWAYS feel so conflicted about the end of summer. I love the oncoming crispness and cool evenings, Halloween, but I dread the shorter days.

I'm trying to look at longer evenings as an invitation to curl inwards and write and read. I hope I give myself permission more often this year to do those things.

I also want to take steps to de-commercialize the holidays as much as possible. I like a tacky, overboard Christmas but I don't like the Wal-Mart version...can I have lots of hand made glitz and heartfelt gifts? Can I start family traditions that reflect a shared humanity and not what we can buy at the last second?

Many things spinning on the poetry/Gallery carousel. Trying to bring things to fruition, trying to gauge the merit and satisfaction levels of undertakings, imposing order on my surroundings, including the kids in the day to day chores, learning to cook in new ways.

The farm has a long list of to do's but beyond the wet basement problem, I;m trying to keep issues a labor of love, of want rather than just jobs to get done. Seems like we have a more successful corn harvest this year -yay!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Understanding Campaign

Justin Sirois has started a good campaign. Go here:

and check it out!


Friday, October 30, 2009

Its Halloween

I wish I was mre excited. At the moment I am most definitely not.
Soph is excited because she kicked H1 in time. she has a costume she is happy to be wearing.

The weather is a little blah but good ambience.

I'm just cranky that I don't get to go out and be a grown up when it falls on a saturday night.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

yikes the time between

pumpkin biscuits
pumpkin pie
running on Sunny's walk
yesterday put black shelf in dining room and worked on Prufrock
sorted and put away clean clothes
made dinner pasta, jalapeno chicken sausage and steamed cauliflower

watched the Story of Stuff

jotted thoughts for a poem

brought craft stuff downstairs

cleaned a little more of sophs room

yesterday I straightened Erics room

yesterday surfed Craigs list for shelving

Friday, September 25, 2009

its the weekend

wow we have a lot of clothes in this house. especially when you add the handful of end of year fall/winter clothes that still fit from last year. There are 5 of us in the house and lordy do the clothes add up.

I had child free time tonight and as much as I wanted to go play! I knew that I would be more sane during single parent week if I had a handle on some of the chaos in the house. I got a LOT done. I'm still doing laundry but I can keep up with a couple loads at a time now.

I'm so conscious of spending money and yet it feels like I still spend foolishly when I'm shopping. It will be great to see from the new finance software I downloaded, if I'm making any improvements with my spending. I'm trying extra hard not to eat out and grab coffees left and right. Its really hard if we;re out and the kids start whining. I am getting better at bringing snacks and drinks. Not perfect but better.

I realize that I'm trying to revolutionize my life. I may set myself up for disappoint but I'm not very good at doing things slowly or methodically. I'm trying to eat local and/or from scratch. This is the toughest thing to get the kids to do. Their palates are already so screwed by food industry. They are making progress. Sophie in particular is making good choices of her own accord.

We've also brought a dog into the household which is a big thing. She's great with Uly and Soph was begging for a dog. I knew it would mostly be my job and I also knew it would force me to move around more. I can reason my way out of exercise no problem. I can't weasel my way out of walking the dog.

I am still making incremental steps towards a tidy organized know according to my standards.

Making plans to expand what I do with PIB.

I'm also on an outward appearance polishing stint since the haircut. Multiple reasons for undertaking it but I think it will help me in the long run. Not to mention the fact its another from of self expression...I used to be a much more dramatic dresser. Want to bring makeup back into my life too.

Coaxing myself to take my writing seriously and take little steps every day that help me feel like a "real" writer.

I'm allowing myself to feel good about the things I accomplish. Instead of chastising myself for all the things I don't get done. I'm using this blog to help with that goal. Record keeping will give my perception some balance. I hope its not too boring for everyone else.

I'm also going to take myself more seriously by treating PIB like a business and taking all the steps that entails. It may take a little while but it will be good for me on multiple levels.

I was pleased with myself today eventually. I woke up kinda crappy and Uly was on my nerves early but instead of staying in the funk and being bitchy all day, I reminded myself that I only set myself back and hurt my day by choosing that mood. I didn't think it would make a difference but it did. I decided even if I didn't get my mammoth to do list done at least I could get little things done to prepare for another day to attack the mammoth list. I motivated and ran some little errands and felt better for it.

Getting out of the house also gave me the impetus not just ot buy kitty litter and a new dog collar but to clean out all the trash in the car and take all the car travel buildup in to the house.

Not sure what to do about mega dog hair in the car. maintenance vacuuming probably.

Working with myself not to stress about the farm. I need it to remain a pleasurable place and not just drudgery. Its hard not to routinely do the pros and cons list of living there when I think about havin chickens and other critters. But I also know I have to take it on gradually or I will just lose what sanity i have left.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

wednesday already

I realized today I had a lot less written than I thought I did.

I was always thinking that I should have a list of things that trigger writerly thoguhts...bats and pumpkins and starts were idea lifted from Neil Gaiman's blog. I love!! Neil Gaiman. He's fierce and smart and funny and sweet. Well, I don't really know him but he spreads magic and damn if that isn't an important and terribly lovely talent to have!!!!

I was crying for poor trees today that were ripped up at the Lowes building site across from our playground/park. I hate that this is the norm. Would it really be that much more expensive to save a couple tress in the grand landscape of a fucking parking lot?!!!

I need to understand why the Tiger mosquitos are evil in our neighborhood and if we can do anything about it.

Sophie made her first pillow today at school learning to sew!!

We had a brief celebration of the Equinox at the farm with Christophe and Karen. Uly was a bit too exuberant for the night to be really pleasant for me but the fire was nice ans so was the evening.

I need to write or find something I've written about BAltimore.

HAve TO DO Prufrock!!!!!!