a true fall gloomy day

and I didn't lose my mind! I have had such a struggle with seasonal affective disorder that I dread days like today. However, I took it in stride and it was ok. Let's face it though, its the MULTIPLE days in a row of weather like today thats gets me down.

Knowledge is half the battle and that is why I'm on a mission to discover fun things to do when its cold outside, with children. Playing outside is always a great option except my hands and feet got cold and they won't warm up again until approximately June.

I had a little victory today. Instead of stuffing myself with instant food, like twenty bowls of cereal in a day, when I got hungry today I grabbed some chicken breasts and baked them in mayo, bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. Pretty easy and tasty. Of course Sophie was attending Uly for the process. It would have been another bowl of cereal if she hadn't been here.

And I just baked a whole chicken with onions and garlic for dinner and then to pick on. We are talking of getting a turkey for picking on as well as a turkey for Thanksgiving.

Today I received my copy of the 2nd anthology I have a poem published in-Manorborn. I am in the company of some good poets. I feel good about that. I'll try to find a link for it or at least a shot of the cover.
The other anthology I have two poems in is called Attic.

Tomorrow I am reading at a fundraiser for African wells. I don't have any new poems so it will be dull for the people who were there last time. Maybe I should dig through some of my old old work and see if I could tinker something into a quality piece.

I want to figure out how to list the books I'm reading. There is a gadget that does that on here I think. Partly I would like to share it with others and partly as a record for myself. Someone I used to know has kept a list of all the books and movies he consumed. What a great record to have. Other people have great collections of their concert experiences. I do not. Which is a shame because I have a terrible chronologic memory and that might be a tool to help me overcome it.

I think tomorrow I'm going to treat myself to a trip to BookThing. Free books! Its like Christmas.

hi

It amazes me how quickly time passes between posts. I always wait until I have quiet time to write and then nothing gets written.

Maybe I'll try to write when I have time, although not necessarily quiet, and see what gets written. I really enjoy reading other peoples blogs, even when they are on the surface about mundane stuff. I think it helps to see that other people have a daily grind but still mange to accomplish their goals. I tend to gravitate towards blogs that highlight a creative aspect of a life. Many of the blogs are by parents,mostly but not entirely, mothers who are crafters or artists or writers or designers. Its great to sit and see the different worlds you get to glimpse.

I would like to spend more time talking to or even possibly interviewing parents about how they juggle their lives and still have creative output. Particularly parents who lean towards the attachment parenting spectrum of child rearing. I fall somewhere in the middle road.
Mostly I am not a schedule follower.

I have found I somewhat envy the parents that talk of the success of their home schooling efforts. I also envy the parents that seem to effortlessly manifest wholesome time with their children. I always feel too stressed and distracted lately to do simple things and give my daughter my complete attention. Obviously some of that struggle is that I have a demanding 7 month old son and I nurse. I don't feel I always fail to give her my attention, its just more fractured lately.

I also am trying to anticipate the winter indoor doldrums by researching now, things to do around town. I don't want to spend oodles of money and somehow it needs to mesh with both age groups. Its really tricky to find other children to interact with after half day kindergarten. Most children are all day students. So we need to find ways to interact with other kids to break the winter monotony of one anothers' company as well.
All this needs to happen without bringing home every available winter germ too.

It is completely in my best interest to write here on a regular basis. It will accomplish multiple things simultaneously. I need to give myself the permission to let it be imperfect writing. I need to value it as the treasure it is to me. Writing is an integral part of the person I am and not writing makes me feel diminished.

While I struggle with the multiple plates spinning in midair that is life with children and a spouse, I need to remind myself that this, that regular writing is my refuge. I don't want to fall prey to that thing, that thing that seems to steamroll mothers the most, where sacrifices are made without consciously deciding to make the sacrifice. I think firstly it oppresses creative people, and then it preys on mothers, no probably parents.

I've also been shuffling ideas in my head about domesticity, feminism, modern rootlessness, the breakdown of the nuclear family and community, a book I bought recently touched on this very subject. A book I've somehow how already misplaced that has to do with "the hearth". This leads in to the other struggle I've had which is how to create some order from the chaos.

I feel like I waste so much time and energy being disorganized and disheveled. But it feels so pointless lately trying to make headway because I have so little free time to approach the tasks that need to be done and so few of them are small, "instant" tasks. I'm not giving up. But what a frustrating process. Which frustrates my yearning for creative output because there is always competition for the time.

I've also begun laying the foundation for a couple large projects knowing they can be successful but not knowing quite how they are going to get created in this crazy day to day life I have currently.

And don't forget, patience is not my first virtue.

I also want to dedicate time to the effort to impeach Cheney. I am constantly being told its a waste of time and won't amount to anything. But I feel like impeaching Cheney would be the best way to convey to the globe that Americans as a whole do not condone his activities nor the activities of the mega corporations he represents. I know I am an idealist but so much is at stake. I genuinely worry about the world my kids are inheriting. I feel a responsiblity to voice my concerns at the very least and be active in some way to create the kind of world I want them to have.

my newest project,please participate

Peace and Poems

I invite everyone to send a poem to each of their political representatives as a direct plea for peace.
If you do, I will publish the poem.

You can find contact information for your representatives at www.usa.gov
Please use the LOCAL OFFICE mailing address.

All I ask is that you send the poem with a Signature Confirmation Request from the US Postal Service. This ensures the poem is received by the designated representative. Then send me a copy of the poem and record of the Signature Confirmation.-You can send the paper receipt or the online version-the Signature Confirmations Request tracking number. There is a small charge for the Signature Confirmation but I think its worthwhile to use the service.

You can find information about Signature Confirmation at ww.usps.com/send/waystosendmail/extraservices/signatureconfirmationservice.htm

IF you feel uncomfortable mailing your own work or know non-poets who would like to participate, simply find a poem that speaks to you and give credit to the poet who wrote it. Please make copies of any poems you send. I cannot be responsible for original versions and their return.

IF you mail different poems to each of your representatives, I will select one poem to publish.

It would be great if you could include a note that specifies the poem is sent because you are participating in "Peace and Poems". "Peace and Poems" is a plea to U.S political leaders to immediately work towards peace and NOT make decisions based on greed. This is a plea to bring US soldiers home from combat and it is a plea for legislations that embody peace-justice and sustenance for living things.

You can email your submission and confirmation to peace©poetryinbaltimore.com or mail your submission and confirmation to

Peace and Poems
8130 Clyde Bank Road
Baltimore, Maryland 21234

If you have any questions please email peace©poetryinbaltimore.com or
visit the blog www.peaceandpoems.blogspot.com

Please circulate this widely and encourage everyone you know to participate.

Thank You!
Julie Fisher

Is summer really over?

I'm in so much denial even though school has started.

Maybe, just maybe I can get some projects underway, since the sun goes down earlier and I don't feel like I

need to get every last drop of the day.

On the other hand, the kids are more attention needy when they don't play outside as much.

I had an idea for a book triggered at my site http://www.poetryinbaltimore.com/ but I don't know yet if anything will actually evolve.

I have poetry submissions accepted in TWO anthologies that are coming out at the Baltimore Book Festival.(http://www.baltimorebookfestival.com/) I hope to read my poems at the festival, we'll see if it pans out.

I need to find other parents who have creative goals as well as kids at home and see how we can encourage one another. Brainstorming on ways to do that.

I've been coming across a lot of inspiring links lately. I hope to get them listed here in some fashion before they are outdated. But please don't hold your breath for them, I can't promise it will be soon.

Wish I was more techno savvy with this blog, say instantaneously, so I could incorporate all the things I would like. Patience I keep telling myself, and then I get distracted.

ok typing one handed or I can't type at all.

Adjusting to having Uly and squirming into a routine or a groove of some kind. I'm glad its summer and there are no absolute demands on my time except occupying Sophie and maybe keeping my little poetry beast tame...

I've been working hard to just be in the moment and not get crazy with demands on myself like"is Sophie having an exciting enough summer, and when will I ever have a clean house and why isn't all my poetry stuff organized yet and shouldn't I have gotten into a 1000 words a day habit by now, and why is this blog always so damned neglected..... and on and on and on.

For some reason an interview I read with Erma Bombeck has always stuck with me. I'm pretty sure she was fighting cancer at the time of the interview and when she was asked if she had any regrets she immediately answered that she wished she had not worried about the laundry and spent more time with her kids that grew astonishingly fast.

I always looked to her as a kind of writerly role model so those words hit a mark. So when I start getting crazy for no real reason other than my to do list, I remind myself of that quote and it helps me.

I do feel like summer is zipping by. I always swear i'll spend the summer daytripping and doing fun little projects and it usually becomes jaunts to the park and an occasional jaunt to a friends' pool club. We did still plant some veggies and Soph gets really excited when something is ready to pick.

breaking the ice

Its awful when you've been away for so long. Its difficult to get your writing groove back on. But ready or not, here I am again.

I do have a good reason for my absence- Ulysses Frank...my new little munchkin. He came into the world with a bit of drama. They took him at 32 weeks because I developed preeclampsia and HELLP so my liver was going nutty and the only way to fix it was to take him out of my body. Weird hunh? So April 6th he came into the world at 3 lbs 6 oz.

As of today he is 8 lbs 2 oz , and all is good.

There are so many great blogs I read that I find so inspiring and motivating and here sits my little neglected one. SO this is not the most succinct or fabulous posting but its the foot in the door post.

Hell yeah for spring!

Well so much for the once a week discipline I said I was going to have. This beast of a pregnancy is just throwing my plans to the wind. Its very frustrating but I try to console myself with the fact I can get off the sofa and get out a bit. I'm not on bed rest and I could be.

Its also a challenge to my nature to pace myself. I only get two good hours of energy a day and that doesn't get much done. I have trouble entertaining myself in down hours because I still have an energetic 41/2 year old to entertain as well. She's been remarkably understanding of my lack of energy but it has made us gripey at each other.

SPRING! will just about alleviate that bickering because she can play outside and get some ya-yas out over the course of the day. She's been picking inside stuff to do like coloring and cutting paper and various paper experiments but these activities don't burn the fuel like running around outside.

AND by spring this growing person will be a real person that I can hold in my arms and care for and not a something sucking the juice outta me.

I've been trying to guess what life is going to be like once Lump is in the picture. But its nearly impossible to even guess. I have no idea what kind oftemperament it will have, colic-y or no, sleeper or no. Just don't have a clue. It would be convenient if it were an infant like my son was...he slept and ate until he started to toddle. It was great.

Life carried on relatively easily. Sophie on the other hand consumed every waking moment (did I sleep at all?) for the first four months of her life with crying. So I've experienced the two extremes...maybe Lump could be in the middle? That would be fine.

But despite my pregnancy complaints I'm still mostly on track with poetry happenings.. Just recently have confirmed an event with Center Stage which is pretty exciting. Details still coming. The PIB site has finally had its updates and I can start undertaking some of the ideas I've been waiting to implement. So thats all good.

I just totally look forward to the return of sunshine and warm weather. Especially on a day like this as sleet falls, and its so cloudy it may as well be night.

My house is warm, I've got plenty of food and everyone I love is healthy-so life is good.

trying to stay in the saddle

I'm just typing stream of consciousness today. Trying to get into daily discipline of words written.

I'm reading Maxine Hong Kingston's "The Fifth Book of Peace". It is not written in a traditional format. It mixes memoir and fiction. It seeks to understand war and create peace. It makes me think.

I've been kinda slack with my Artist's Way work this week. I seem to go in cycles, good week, lazy week sort of thing. There have been winter weather school closings too, which make lethargy easy. Besides lethargy is good for growing a person. I mean how much physical and/or mental activity can you expend and still be knitting a little human being?

I am trying to schedule the majority of the poetry readings for 2007 now, so I don't have to worry about it so much in the spring. I'll just have to remember to do press. Shortly, I'll have to devise the schedule for the 2007 anthology and when to make a call for submissions. I also need to finish recruiting my editorial committee.

FINALLY, I'm getting the work done on the PIB website that I've been working towards. I can stop feeling thwarted and start moving forward with additions to the site. Things I've envisioned all along but just haven't gotten to materialize.

I'm getting distracted with my mental to do list. I'm going to go accomplish a few practical tasks. But at least I've posted something for this week.

ch ch ch changes

I'm baaack.
I hadn't intended to be away for so long. It just happened. I'd sign on and not think of anything good to say. But I've decided to blog at least once a week because I need the discipline.

So yeah, changes is my title. Thats because there is one gigantic change growing right now. I am unexpectedly pregnant. Yup. Universe likes to throw curve balls doesn't it. So we'll have a third little person in our midst sometime at the end of May. ANOTHER Gemini in my life. Its all good. While definitely a shock we are welcoming this person with open arms.

Don't expect a really concise post here today. I'm just putting words one after the other to get myself back in the groove.

I'm realizing a blog, or possibly future multiple blogs, can be really useful. My daydreams and goals are slo o o w l y refining themselves and I've been taking little steps towards them.

Poetry stuff has been going well. The reading series are consistent and satisfying. Check www.poetryinbaltimore.com for the current calendar. Also use it to buy a copy of "Octopus Dreams-Anthology One", before they're all gone.

Still plugging away at the purge and organization of the house. There is SO much to do but we have been making incremental progress. Things are starting to find places to live, systems are coming together. I'm bringing Sophie kicking and screaming into the clean up after yourself process. I'm trying to embrace the concept before anything comes into the house there needs to be place for it. I'm meditating on the concept of simplicity. I'm such a collector that I don't know if I'll ever be able to embrace it but I can strive towards it. Especially from a sustainable living point of view.

I've undertaken "Artist's Way" again. Its been a punchy, sporadic undertaking but I feel it works for me. I have dragged a languishing, unfinished novel from its folder and have been tinkering with it. So that is welcome.

So, here's to weekly posts and embracing change.